I got chris browned last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
