In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
