Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
