I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
