It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
