so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This house was built for laser tag.
As shirtless as possible
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
