Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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