But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you had me at cake vodka
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
