no, he came in my armpit
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
