I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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