What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
