we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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