I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
