he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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