She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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