Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
