Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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