How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
