So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize