So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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