Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
