He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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