I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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