Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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