Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
