Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
