im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
