apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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