I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
