I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
