He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
