i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
