I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize