Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
