Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
