making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
