I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
