When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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