Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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