I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize