omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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