Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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