I wanna bring you to show and tell
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
