I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
