Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
