You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
