kristin has been a bad kristin
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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