White coat. Heels.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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