It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish I could teleport
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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