just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
