what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize