Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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