Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
