His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
worst night to have a conscience
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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