I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
