Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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