Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
