Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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