You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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