Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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