I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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