my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Found the puke drawer
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
