If that was your dad, he is hot
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She bit a glass in half.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
