if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
