He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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