Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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