i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize